is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
