She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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