3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
