dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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