Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Randomize
