I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
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