I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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