That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
