im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
