Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
