My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 607 share tweet
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
