So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
well you can't waste a boner
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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