You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I just want to make out with him forever
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
