I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
