she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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