It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
