I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
