oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Be still, my beating vagina.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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