Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
