He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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