We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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