Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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