The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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