I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
