The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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