i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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