that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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