Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
