Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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