we're blogging at a bar
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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