your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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