No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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