I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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