I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
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