alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
