I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
