WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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