I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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