btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
