I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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