just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
