Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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