im about as happy as oj after his trial
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
