chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
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