if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
