marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
