My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
