Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Randomize
