a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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