Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
