youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I've blown a few things in my day
I wish you could order shots online.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
